


Drarryland: Too Gay To Function

by Jill_Klein



Category: Drarry - Fandom
Genre: Drarry, Drarryland: A Drarry Game/Fest, Gay, M/M, Yaoi, drarryland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 07:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17997122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jill_Klein/pseuds/Jill_Klein
Summary: This is a collection of Drarrys that I'm writing for the Drarryland game. By Jill Klein of Pennydew.





	1. I Hate You

**Author's Note:**

> Title: I Hate You  
> Rating: T  
> Word Count: 395/399  
> Category: Divination (“Gee, can you vague that up a bit for me?”)  
> Prompt: L (Oh... You've....drawn the Five of Swords, upright. It represents ambition, winning at all costs, and sneakiness. You will write a story with lots of tension, conflict, and hostility. This card is ruled by the element of air, signifying calculated thinking and communication. You will explain your story in a letter, perhaps an attempted apology, or a truce, or maybe even the source of the conflict.)  
> Summary: Many years after they graduated, Draco still can’t forget his feelings for Harry, and he hates him for that.

Potter,  
When I accepted the Headmistress’ invitation to engage in a friendly Quidditch match with the other parents that used to be players, I didn’t imagine all my buried feelings would come to light.  
It started when I arrived with my broom and my son came to greet me alongside your son. I thought about everything that led to this exact moment, and how things could’ve been different if I could do it all again. They took me to the pitch, where all the other parents were waiting. Among all those familiar faces, I saw you. It’s remarkable, how that simple red sweater was enough to make you awaken all those butterflies within me.  
I, however, swallowed them all.  
I couldn’t allow myself to feel those things again. Not with your ginger git of a wife standing right beside you.  
We were sorted into teams. You were placed on the same team as she. I don’t know why I was expecting to finally be able to play on the same team as you, but alas, it was not to be. When the game began, all my conflicted feelings returned.  
Your wife, as a professional player, was much more skilled than any one of us. She was swift and slithered among us as if she were made of air. You looked at her with pride in your eyes, and that made me experience awful feelings that I thought I’d long learned to control.  
I watched you fly around the pitch, looking for the Snitch, and your presence bothered me to such an extent that I felt my blood boiling. Up till now, I don’t know if it was anger or desire.  
You have always made me feel uneasy, and I’m stricken that I still haven’t forgotten my feelings for you. Not even Astoria was able to banish you from my mind… and the fact that our sons are best friends fooled me into thinking that maybe, in an alternative universe, we could be together.  
But no.  
So, I hate you for making me feel so vulnerable.  
I hate that you found the Snitch first… again.  
I hate that your team won, and that you celebrated it by kissing that ginger twit.  
I hate that you’ll never know how I feel.  
I hate that we’ll never be together.  
Above all, I hate that I fucking love you.


	2. Stupid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Stupid Plans  
> Rating: T  
> Word Count: 1151/1675  
> Category: Transfiguration – Non Drarry POV  
> Prompt: Forced Bonding: the fallout of this as told from the POV of either 1) Ron -OR- 2) Blaise -OR- 3) The Minister of Magic  
> Summary: Ron has a plan to play Cupid for Harry and Draco. Is it a good plan? Hermione doesn't think so.

They’ve always had a super gay crush on each other, and there’s no denying that. I’ve been watching them argue and exchange insults ever since they first met, and though the discussions have grown slightly more mature, it’s still pretty obvious that they’re only doing it because they want each other.  
A lot.  
Even my dad, who has nothing to do with this, has grown tired of listening to Lucius Malfoy complain that if he hears Potter’s name one more time, he’s going to rip off all the hair on his head. Though Mr. Malfoy despises Dad, the situation has gotten to such an extreme that he’s in desperate need of a friendly shoulder to cry on… to mourn the fact that his son is madly in love – and slightly obsessed – with the Boy He Hates.  
I confess that I’m not exactly fond of the idea of Harry and Malfoy having a relationship, but I still think it’d be better to have them together and quiet rather than apart and unceasingly moaning about each other. Hermione doesn’t agree with me, but I’m not sure that I care. I think everyone has something to win in this game and for me: I’d like to stop hearing Harry gasp Malfoy’s name in his sleep.  
So, I came up with a plan.   
It’s probably flawed, and I’m sure Hermione would’ve come up with a plan ten times better than mine, but she’s not cooperating, so I had to do this alone. I started to put it in practice during Divination, where I enchanted Harry’s cup so that his tea leaves would spell the phrase: You’re in love with Draco. I swallowed a snicker while watching Harry frown and hurriedly slam his cup upside down, his cheeks flushing madly. It was bloody funny.  
Then I convinced Dobby to lead a several house elves to perform a presentation on Valentine’s Day. I told him it would make Harry super happy and that was enough. I swear, I’ll never forger Malfoy’s face when a bunch of house elves walked to the Slytherin table, lined up in front of him, and started singing: Huzzah! Huzzah! You’re super, super gay! Huzzah! Huzzah! Want Potter to be your bae! Huzzah! Huzzah! You want the Boy Who Lived! Huzzah! Huzzah! To be the Boy You Kissed! Huzzah! Huzzah!  
I still have tremendous fits of laughter whenever I remember that. It was awesome. 100 points to Dobby.  
After that, I found a way to sneak into the Slytherin changing rooms while Malfoy was putting on his Quidditch robes. I confess I wasn’t ready for the view of him almost nude, only wearing tight boxer briefs, but it was the perfect moment for me to take a picture of him with Colin’s camera. I snuck the picture inside Harry’s potions book, and I’m sure he wanted to shove his head inside the cauldron when he saw Malfoy’s half-naked body. It was glorious.  
A few days after that, they engaged in another annoying discussion. Malfoy started calling Harry an insufferable git and Harry cursed back, saying Malfoy was a greasy weasel. This time I enchanted the suits or armour in the corridor around them to start shouting: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! The looks on their faces were too awesome to forget.  
I continued with my plan, stealing one of Harry’s boxers and sneaking them inside Malfoy’s backpack. The best past wasn’t his face when he tried to grab a book and the underwear fell on the floor, but when he grabbed it, saw the name written on the elastic, and hurriedly shoved it back into his bag.  
Another task perfectly executed.  
Hermione, who is an exceedingly clever girl and worked out what I was doing, started trying to dissuade me from my plan, telling me it’s never going to work. I got mad and called her a nosy witch and she called me a ginger brat. We kissed passionately for a bit in a deserted corridor, and everything was good again. She told me she’s going to show me what an actual good plan looks like, and on the very next day she unceremoniously hexed both Harry and Malfoy, pushed them inside a broom closet without their wands, and magically locked the door.  
It was bloody brilliant. But I wouldn’t be the one to tell her that.  
We waited across the way with a bag of popcorn and some Butterbeer while they knocked on the door and yelled for us to open it or they’d knock it down. The couldn’t do it, of course, because it was solid wood.  
Things started to get very interesting when they began to throw a big tantrum, yelling and cursing at each other and threatening to rip out each other’s eyeballs. Then everything went abruptly silent and I looked at Hermione, concerned that they might have killed each other after all. She looked at me with a smirk and aimed her wand at the door, casting the spell Pellucidus, which makes things go transparent.  
I was expecting to find them dead or bleeding or, only in my wildest dreams, having a civilized conversation.  
But no.  
They were engaged in such a furious kiss that it almost looked like they wanted to hurt each other. Malfoy was pulling Harry’s hair and biting his lip, while Harry was squeezing Malfoy’s bum very tightly.  
I gaped.  
Seriously gaped.  
I was entirely shocked.  
Hermione, on the other hand, was exultant. She even had the nerve to look at me and say: See? This is what a flawless plan looks like. They’re so gay for each other. It was only a matter of time and opportunity.  
I really love her, but there are times that I really hate her.  
She reversed the spell before they could acknowledge that we were watching them and covered us with Harry’s invisibility cloak. Then she unlocked the door. Shortly after, a very breathless Harry and an extremely flushed Malfoy exited the broom closet. They glared at each other and Malfoy said: Your friends won’t get away with this, Potter.  
Harry didn’t answer; he simply stared at Malfoy intently and then looked away. To my surprise, Malfoy spoke again: We should… do this again sometime, Potter.  
And Harry smirked at him and replied: You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Malfoy?  
Now I’m positively sure.  
This was a bad idea.  
Because now we won’t hear them talking about each other anymore.  
We’ll have to watch them making out in raging fury instead, and I’m not sure if that’s good for their health. They might really end up killing each other. I wonder how we’d explain that to Lucius Malfoy… Look, Mr. Malfoy, Harry and your son were riding each other like the gay animals that they are… and then they died.  
Yeah, sounds like a good plan.  
Thankfully, it’ll be all Hermione’s fault.   
Curse her and her bloody stupid plan…


	3. We Lost It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: We Lost It  
> Rating: K  
> Word Count: 717/788  
> Category: Divination - Interpretive  
> Prompt: The Fates have spoken: you've drawn The Lovers, reversed. This card represents imbalance, one-sidedness, and disharmony. Communication is stilted. It's your task to take the situation and find resolution, to restore balance. Must contain the words "I'm sorry."  
> Summary: The war didn’t only take lives… it took loves as well. With grief, Harry remember how Draco and he slowly lost it… and all the everything that remained.

It’s cliché, you know? To say that after the war we were no longer the same. We were changed. Different. We tried to find many excuses to what we were feeling, but it was time to face the music.  
It was over.  
Even in the dark, I kept loving him. I could feel him slipping away, almost like sand running through my fingers. I tried to hold on to him, but he was already gone. The light that once sparkled inside his greyish eyes was fading, and sadness had never been something that suited him. He looked more than handsome when he had a smile upon his lips. He looked… heavenly. And little by little, I watched my angel fly away.  
I reckon I followed the entire path of grief. At first, it was denial. I’d hug him in his sleep, and in the dead of night I’d whisper how much I loved him. The silence was almost unbearable, but the sound of his breathing was enough.  
Then came the anger. I wanted to break the new plates of our new apartment. I wanted to yell at him, shouting in despair that he was everything that I wanted. That we were meant to be. Supposed to be. But I remained silent. I’d keep saying the same words, unceasingly: I love you.   
One day, he looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, and said: I’m sorry.  
The bargain was the worst part. I’d give the Earth and the moon to make him stay. I bought his favorite chocolate. I wrote dozens of love poems and letters. I bought him a freakishly large teddy bear. But he was stoic. No response. No reaction.   
Were we too old for that? Had we lived too much? Had we grown too sad, too broken… to seize these moments?  
The day he woke up… the day that he emptied his side of the wardrobe… the day he looked at me and said: I’m sorry, Harry with finality… was the day he took a part of me with him.   
He left me in pieces… Shattered… And I knew I’d never be able to forget him.  
Ron and Hermione helped me through the depression. They said I would survive, because after everything I went through, it wouldn’t be a heartbreak that would stop my heart. I said nothing, but they were wrong.   
Without Dray, I felt nothing. I felt like I was nothing. I was buried in a great abyss of nothingness. I knew the day would come when I’d have to leave the abyss, but it felt good to be in there. It felt comfortable. I was locked in a place where Dray and I were still together. We were how we used to be. We were friends… lovers… soulmates…  
It became easier as the days went by, just as my friends said it would. Slowly, the ache stopped throbbing. The sky turned blue again and I could enjoy music on the radio without thinking that those were his favorite songs. Dray used to be my light and then he became my darkness. At the end of the tunnel, I found balance. Life without him wasn’t the same, but it wasn’t bad either. It just was.  
I bumped into him when I started working at the Ministry. He looked at me with his grey eyes, now full of light, and said: Harry.   
I looked at him, seeing that he was different, but still the same, and said: Draco. I didn’t understand why my heart didn’t start beating out of time, but when I got to the lift and took a deep breath, I finally understood.  
A part of me will always love him, but it isn’t strong enough to shake me. It’s a whisper in the dark. It’s like the golden sands of time. It passes… It changes… But little by little, the river finds its way and continues to run.   
Dray and I lost it. We weren’t the only ones and we won’t be the last. Maybe in another life, we could’ve made it. However, I now keep walking with the certainty that things are exactly how they’re supposed to be. I’ll always miss him. I’ll always love him. But I know that no matter the tides, I can live without him.


End file.
